Dancing With Despair
by Temptation of Lacuna
Summary: Betrayed by his family, Raphael must pose as a nobleman to provide for his foster daughter Amy. But what can Raphael do when he falls in love with the daughter of one of his enemies? In the process of re-writing. Chapter 2 now up!
1. Chapter 1

_Rain Crystal_: It's back! I promised that I would re-write this story and I am a woman of my word. It may not be completely different but what it will be is better written. I was about 16-17 when I originally started this story and I feel I've improved since then if only a little.

I'd like to thank everyone who has supported this story before it's removal. There's too many of you to list but you know who you are. Thank you so, so much!

Enough of my rambling and on with the story…

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**Chapter One**

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Raphael had arrived at the manor of Duke Riviére, a highly respected noble throughout the French Empire. He had not originally been invited to the duke's ball but had instead been given his 'friend' Count Granier's invitation to attend. Raphael wasn't sure why the count would do such a thing but he would not question the situation either. Raphael was presently standing at the door of the gaudy looking building, giving his name to the doorman.

"Robert Levaeux," he replied, using his alias.

"Levaeux… Levaeux…" murmured the doorman as he scanned the guest list, "Aha! Please come inside."

"Thank you," Raphael muttered as he tried to hide his disgust.

"Have a good time!" exclaimed the over-enthusiastic doorman at 'Robert Levaeux's retreating back.

Raphael scanned the room with a disapproving eye. The place was filled with nobles who seemed so concerned with overly indulging themselves to even notice anyone else around them. Children were dying of illness while people of rank did nothing to help. Some even tormented the needy for their sick, twisted entertainment. In fact, it was a soldier serving the House of Riviére who had brutally murdered Amy's biological parents, leaving her to fend for herself at a young age. It took a great deal of self-restraint to prevent Raphael from searching out the duke and slitting his throat at his own ball.

_Why have I bothered to attend that cur's pathetic little party?_ he wondered in disgust.

Just as he'd made the decision to leave his eye caught sight of a young woman being harassed by a noble. She was a slender woman with long, wavy brown hair and troubled violet eyes. The man she was with was noticeably intoxicated and acting in an inappropriate manner.

_How disgusting! Riviére's associates have no class whatsoever!_

Without thinking, Raphael made his way over to where they stood and grabbed the young woman by the arm. Though she was afraid she allowed him to lead her to the dance floor to dance. The movements seemed so fluid to the two of them as though they had been born to dance with one another. Neither spoke until the song was finished and Raphael was the first.

"You're an excellent dancer."

"Thank you, my lord," the woman replied with a curtsy, "I'm afraid I'm not good at much else."

Before Raphael could inquire about her last statement he noticed the noble from earlier approaching quickly. The brunette's eyes grew wide with fear noticing the murderous intent in his eyes as he focused on Raphael.

"Please forgive him, Alexander! He meant you no harm," she pled desperately, "All he wanted was one dance, that's all!"

"Look you cur, if you want to dance that's your business. However you will have to find another partner," the angry noble said, looking directly into Raphael's eyes as he spoke.

"Let me get this straight, it's alright for you to harass this young lady but a gentleman cannot request of her a single dance?" questioned Raphael in a disgusted tone.

"Please don't provoke Alexander further, my lord. Allow me to-"

Before the woman could complete her plea Alexander pulled a knife and slashed Raphael's upper arm. Immediately she clasped her hands over her mouth to quiet the shrill sound of her screaming.

Looking to the frightened woman Raphael spoke, "You should flee from this place before you get hurt."

The woman nodded before running out of the room and out of the manor. She didn't stop until she reached the incredibly large garden behind the gaudy building. There she dropped to her knees in remorse.

_I should not have fled. That man could get seriously hurt because of me…_

After what seemed like an eternity she could hear the sound of footsteps approaching. Looking in the direction from which the sound came she saw Raphael and immediately noticed the gash he'd received was still bleeding. Thinking quickly she tore off a piece of her gown and ran to Raphael to bandage his wound.

"My lord I'm so sorry! This is all my fault…" her voice trailed off as heavy tears fell from her eyes.

"My lady I assure you that you are not to blame for anything," assured Raphael before explaining, "You were not aware of the heartless brutality and complete lack of tact of the House of Riviére."

"Would it be out of line to ask why you decided to help me?" the woman asked tentatively.

"That swine had no right to violate you in such a manner. I knew that no one else was going to do a thing to help you so it was up to me," replied Raphael sounding slightly disgusted by the evening's events.

"I'm certain if you had known my name you wouldn't have wanted to help me," she said sadly.

"What is your name now that you've mentioned it?" asked Raphael, now slightly puzzled.

"Blanche Riviére," she replied when she managed the courage to speak. Her voice trembled with each syllable and she looked ashamedly at her feet, "Alexander is one of my suitors. My father plans to marry me off to a rich, well-respected family. It would better his name. To be honest, I don't think he

cares about me."

Normally Raphael would've reacted harshly toward her but the pain that Blanche showed made him act with more kindness. Surely she wouldn't have supported the actions of her father's soldiers, he apparently didn't show her the slightest bit of compassion either. Raphael really hated Duke Riviére now. How could he hurt his own daughter? Raphael would never treat Amy in such a cruel way and it disturbed him that any man could be cold to his own daughter.

"My lord, if it be your will I shall willingly pay the price for my family's deeds, whatever they may be," Blanche's voice interrupted his thoughts.

The young woman's offer startled Raphael to say the least. Firstly he was surprised because she was a noble and nobles only care for themselves. Secondly she had just said that her father didn't care for her and yet she was volunteering her life for as the price for his sins.

"No," he said as he put his hand on her face causing her to look sorrowfully into his eyes, "Not you. You're different somehow, more compassionate."

"Why do you say that? Riviére blood runs through my veins. Perhaps I am the reason you hate our name…" Blanche replied in a weakened voice.

"No, your tears tell me differently. Your choice to care for my injury is enough to tell me that you could never be responsible for the atrocities of your father's house."

"Who are you, my lord?" asked a puzzled and very worried Blanche, "To whom-"

"Raphael Sorel."

Raphael couldn't figure out why he had said that. He should have said 'Robert Levaeux but instead he chose the truth. She could turn him in to his enemies now that she knew who he was but somehow he knew she wouldn't. He could feel her tears falling down her face and took his hand away. He was her enemy but something had caused him to speak the truth to Blanche of the House of Riviére.

"I wish I were as brave as you are, Raphael. I wish I could hide from this life as you have. Your family has recently become one of my father's allies. If you hadn't become, in your family's eyes, a burden and threat to their lives, you too, would have been my suitor." She gently touched his face, then slowly taking her hand back and said, "I think I would have liked you."

The pain in her eyes and the tears falling from them cut Raphael deeper than Alexander's blade ever could. Before he knew it, he had taken her into his arms. What was he doing? What could he possibly be thinking? This wasn't normal for him, not at all. What next? He might find himself...

Kissing her. Blanche wasn't sure what was happening or why it was. She was kissing a man she hardly knew and to top it all off he was her father's enemy. She wasn't sure why but she knew she needed him. The passion in his kiss had caused her tears to stop falling and allowed her to feel something she'd never felt before. This feeling, it allowed her to feel something other than loneliness and despair...

She had stopped crying. Actually her pain was overtaken by a passion he could feel in her kiss. He was glad, for some unknown reason he couldn't bear to see her hurt. Raphael deepened the kiss as he longed to take her away from here to live with himself and Amy.

Amy… Blanche was Duke Riviére's daughter, an enemy to Amy. He could never have Blanche... Raphael broke the kiss but he couldn't let her go. She was in danger as long as she was with him, he'd have to let go. There was no other choice.

Blanche was horrified by what she'd done. She'd seduced a man who surely hated her for her lineage. He'd never love a woman who'd put him in danger... Not to mentioned whatever it was that her father and his men had done in the past.

"What have I done?" she exclaimed in horror, "I've seduced a man who views me as an enemy! Surely you'll never forgive me-"

"You're not the one to blame, Blanche," assured Raphael, "However you're in great danger if anyone sees you with me. I must take my leave of you now."

"Will I ever see you again, Raphael?" asked Blanche as she began to cry again.

"For your sake, I hope not. Your life is burdensome enough as it is, you don't need me to worsen the situation."

"If that is what you wish," Blanche said in dismay. She fell to her knees, burying her head in her hands as Raphael turned to leave.

Raphael turned to look at her one last time. There was nothing sweet about the sorrow of departure, not when she cried like that. She appeared to feel something for him, and he felt sympathy for her, but to stay there with her was too dangerous- he was her enemy and he would only put her in danger. Her father appeared to be callous to her and probably wouldn't protect her if his enemies found his daughter with him. This wasn't fair to him, Blanche was not his enemy.

He was gone, Blanche was all alone. She knew that feeling something for another was foolishness. It didn't matter if she loved him or any other man, her father was going to marry her off to some nobleman with a good name. Not a man who was good to her or the people around him but good to his reputation instead. Raphael was the first to show her a sliver of compassion and he was the first to act unselfishly in front of the more corrupt nobles of her father's kind. It was never meant to be, Raphael was her father's enemy and her father and his soldiers his enemies. He could never love her as long as she was a Riviére. This wasn't right, Raphael wasn't her enemy and yet he was…

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_Rain Crystal_: There you have it, the new and improved first chapter of _Dancing With Despair_. I hope it turned out slightly better than the first version. And yes, I did change Blanche's hair from white to brown. I hope it doesn't bother anyone…

Also for those who are interested in the story but do not have an account at ffn I offer email notifications. If you'd like to know when I've updated without the trouble of checking my profile all the time I will send you a notice via email. See my profile for details.

That's all for now. I hope to have the second chapter re-written soon but I can't say when I'll have it ready. In the meantime feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time!


	2. Chapter 2

_Lacuna Lily_: I'm back with chapter 2 and much quicker than I had anticipated! I'm so proud of myself, lol! And yes, I did change my name.

I'd like to give a HUGE thank you to the two people who have supported the story from its original state and are continuing to show their support now. Highwayman Myth and Kyuubinoheru please stand up and take a bow. -crowd applauds loudly- I would also like to thank my new readers Orzhvo Patriach, mastersam, and DEGxMDM for their support as well. You are all amazing and I appreciate your encouragement.

One more thing before I let you at the chapter. I do not own the song that Blanche is going to sing in this chapter. It is called _Before the Dawn_ and it is the property of one of my absolute favorite bands, **Evanescence**.

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**Chapter Two**

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Weeks after the ball at Duke Riviére's manor Raphael had decided to pay a visit to the place that he and Amy had once called home. It was a most desolate place filled with row upon row of beaten down shacks; some without doors, others without windows but pitiful shelters nonetheless. As the Frenchman continued his stroll he saw hungry children laying in the streets while a vast majority of the adults seemed as though they couldn't care less.

_How disgraceful_, he thought with a heavy frown.

It wasn't until he heard a beautiful sound that, due to it's fine quality, seemed out of place in a desolate place such as this. Picking up his pace, though only slightly, Raphael made his way toward the sound. When he arrived near the source he was surprised at what he saw.

The source of the voice was a young woman who looked remarkably identical to Blanche. After examining her attire, a simple yellow dress, he immediately dismissed the idea. After all, Blanche was a noble and would probably be dressed accordingly. He also didn't think that any noble would be singing to a group of battered and starving children as they were eating.

_Hold on_, Raphael thought quizzically, _Where did those children get so much food?_

"Sing us another, Blanche!" a dark haired boy cried when she was finished with the song she was singing.

Raphael was shocked, what would a noblewoman like Blanche be doing in a place like this? It even appeared she was trying to hide her nobility. It seemed he was right that night they spoke in the garden- she _was_ different than the other members of the House of Riviére.

"What shall I sing for you, Antoine?" asked Blanche with a sweet smile.

She even knew them by name and the children addressed her by her first name. It was apparent to Raphael that Blanche was genuinely concerned about the well-being of those children. If she had been in it for her image she would have been dressed in a more gaudy manner and made a big deal about being addressed as some redundant title such as 'Lady Blanche of the House of Riviére'. In Raphael's opinion Blanche was a breath of fresh air in comparison to her wealthy counterparts.

"It doesn't matter, I just want to hear you sing," replied Antoine with an eager grin.

Blanche thought for a moment before finally deciding upon a song.

_Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you  
__I am nothing more than to see you there_

_And maybe tonight  
__We'll fly so far away  
__We'll be lost before the dawn_

Raphael was touched by the song she was singing. She seemed so melancholy. She worked so hard to comfort those children while no one made the slightest effort to do anything for her. It seemed apparent to him that Blanche sang of sorrow because it was all she knew and for some reason it troubled him. He quickly hid himself from sight knowing that it would only cause more trouble for her if she saw him there.

_And maybe tonight  
__We'll fly so far away  
__We'll be lost before the dawn_

"Why are you always so sad?" Antoine asked when she was finished.

"Yeah! You're rich enough to take care of yourself and buy things for leisure. We're jealous!" added a frighteningly thin young girl.

"You'd hate to be as rich as me, Yvonne," stated Blanche with a lonely smile, "Although it's true that money can buy a lot of things, it can't buy what is it that I want most."

"What is it that you what?" questioned a perplexed Antoine.

"I want a family. I want to be loved as you are. Money can't make people love you. It can, however, be used to aid the ones you love," explained the young noble as she placed her hands over her heart.

"You have us, Blanche. We love you like an older sister."

Antoine gave Blanche a hug and the other children followed. She was moved to tears by the boy's words and the actions of the group of children. Unfortunately the joyful moment was cut short by the sound of hoofbeats and masculine voices calling for "Mademoiselle Riviére". Instinctively, Raphael ran for Blanche, grabbing her arms behind her back and clasping his hand over her mouth, he dragged her into a nearby "house". When he'd released her she turned in fright to face her captor. A look of relief overtook her face when she saw Raphael.

"My Lord Raphael! Oh, thank God it's you! I thought that you were one of them!" Blanche exclaimed before becoming saddened once more, "I wish they'd leave me alone..."

Before Raphael could respond, they heard the voices of the soldiers demanding Blanche's location from the children. Blanche immediately ran to the window to check on her 'family'. She screamed in horror at what she saw- a soldier bearing the crest of Riviére plunging his sword into Antoine's chest. Before Raphael could stop her she ran out of the shack and toward Antoine's limp body. Unfortunately before she could reach him she was caught by the arms by two soldiers.

"You killed him, you bastard!" she shrieked at the soldier who stood before her, "It's me you wanted, these children did nothing to you!"

"You call these children? I call them disgusting little rats!" the soldier scoffed.

"You're a cruel-"

"And you're disgracing your father's name by being here. It's time for you to come home, Mademoiselle Riviére," the murderer stated, cutting her off.

Before the argument could be carried out further the soldiers of Riviére dragged Blanche away. Irate, Raphael ran out of the shack in which he hid and was immediately surrounded by the group of children.

"Monsieur, why are they so cruel to us and why did they treat Blanche that way?" asked Yvonne with tears in her eyes.

"I hate those soldiers! They want to take Blanche away from us forever!" cried a young boy.

"They're hurting her! Can't her father see that she loves and we lover her?" cried a young girl.

"What will we ever do without her?" Yvonne wept.

Raphael couldn't stand to see the pain reflected in the children's eyes. In a way they reminded him of Amy. She had lived there once but never got to feel Blanche's love. Without responding to Yvonne's question, Raphael began traveling toward Duke Riviére's manor to check on Blanche.

"Wait!" Yvonne cried after him but to no avail.

It began to storm as Raphael traveled, getting progressively worse the closer he got to Riviére Manor. Upon arriving at the desolate place the usually stoic Frenchman examined it's exterior. After a few moments observation he noticed a balcony. Following some unexplained instinct he scaled the building to reach it. The pouring rain made it a difficult task to accomplish but he was too determined to allow that to stop him. Once his feet were firmly on the balcony floor Raphael looked to its entrance. There was no door to shield from the rain or the cold, only a see-through veil.

Raphael looked through the veil and into a rather large and overly decorated bed chamber. In the center of the room was a rather large, comfortable looking bed with many pillows littering the surface of the mattress. However it wasn't the bed that caught Raphael's eye but rather the figure that lay crying into one of the many pillows. It was apparent that Blanche was taking the boy's death pretty hard. Raphael really couldn't blame her for feeling that way. Those children loved her and that affection had brought a smile to her sorrowful face. Unfortunately her lineage and rank in society would not allow it and that smile was taken away from her after the time it took for it to form. The heavens must have been sad too because the rain poured like the tears from Blanche's eyes when the child died.

Raphael watched in silence as Blanche got to her feet sometime later and dragged herself toward the balcony's entryway. She pushed through the veil and was greatly surprised to see Raphael staring at her. Unable to find a single word to say the noblewoman threw her arms around her companion and buried her face in his chest. Raphael held her tightly, able to feel the pain surging through her body. She must've been afraid she'd lose him too, for she tightened her embrace slightly.

"It's all my fault… My nobility go Antoine killed…" Blanche sobbed quietly.

"You are not to blame for your lineage or the actions of your father's soldiers," stated Raphael causing her to look to his face, "That boy could have told them where you were, he saw us hide. He chose to chance death because he loved you."

"Those children... they need someone to love and care for them. Their parents have given up hope and lie and wait for the day of their death, leaving the children lonely and trying to fend for themselves. I had to do something but now I see that all I can do is bring them pain..."

"You could never be the cause of their pain as long as you love them so. I used to live there and my foster daughter as well and I assure you that a little affection goes a long way for those children," explained Raphael reassuringly.

"It must have changed you as a person, you're not as cold as they say," stated Blanche. Placing her hands over her heart she asked, "Are you two holding up alright?"

What could Raphael say to her? Surely he couldn't tell her what had happened to Amy's parents, she'd be devastated. She already blamed herself for what had happened to Antoine though no one else felt she was to blame. If she were to find out the truth about Amy it would break her heart even further.

"Is Amy, by any chance, the name of your daughter?" asked Blanche with a look of guilt in her eyes, "The children told me of a girl named Amy who left the slums after being adopted by a renegade nobleman. Her parents had been killed by my father's soldiers…"

Blanche reminded Raphael so much of Amy. They both hurt in ways that seemed impossible to heal. They each felt anger toward something; for Amy it was the Riviére soldiers and for Blanche it was her lineage, seemingly to the point of self-despise. There was one difference, however, Blanche's heart was open- and bleeding heavily- while Amy had tried to force hers closed.

"I've prayed that Amy would find peace and love wherever she may be but that will never be enough to atone for my sin..." Blanche continued, her voice nothing more than a weakened whisper at that point.

"I know that you would never do anything to hurt Amy, Blanche. You love people too much to allow such deeds," Raphael assured her, placing a hand on her face.

"I wish that I didn't love. My kind of love only brings pain to the ones I care about…"

"It's not you hurting those people, it's those who are hurting you that cuts them so deep. I wish that I could take you away from this, mon amour."

"Raphael-"

Before Blanche could say another word, Raphael had taken her into a passionate kiss. He wanted to erase the world around them and take away such suffering. There would be nothing, nothing but Blanche and Raphael. He could take her away from this life, far away without looking back. He would take her for his bride and they could live happily ever after with Amy...

"Raphael, please," Blanche pleaded after she broke the kiss, "We must stop this; our love is forbidden."

She was right. This love would only bring more pain and suffering to Blanche. Raphael couldn't bear to be the cause of her agony. It cut her deeply, judging by the pain in her eyes. He'd have to leave her, for good this time. Looking at her one last time he tried to engrave her image into his memory despite how bad an idea it actually was.

"Raphael," Blanche said as he turned to leave, "I'm sorry."

"No, I am the one who's sorry."

Having spoken that last sentence Raphael disappeared from the balcony and into the stormy night. With him he took what was left of Blanche's heart and possibly any faith she had left in humanity as a whole.

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_Lacuna Lily_: I know, it was short. Most of the chapters for this story were. This one is actually two old chapters fused together and slightly modified for a much better read. I hope I'm still doing alright. Thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you soon! 


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